Суть качественного параграфа на высокий балл - уйти вглубь объяснений, чтобы каждое новое предложение раскрывало тему на шаг дальше. Примеры со статистикой успешны только тогда, когда они помогают развить мысль в параграфе. Если же упоминание цифр просто повторяет суть того, что было сказано выше, но не больше - есть риск получить не выше band 7, а если упоминание статистики в параграфе совершенно бессмысленно, это может опустить балл по Task Achievement до band 6.
Сравните требования по Task Achievement на разные баллы:
Band 6 - presents relevant main ideas but some may be inadequately developed / unclear
Band 7 - presents, extends and supports main ideas, but there may be a tendency to overgeneralise and/or supporting ideas may lack focus
Band 8 - presents a well-developed response to the question with relevant, extended and supported ideas.
Сравните то, как употребляется статистика в параграфах ниже:
Пример 1: статистика не развивает идею и не добавляет смысла
The primary reason why technology plays an incredibly significant role in people’s lives is that modern devices and household appliances help people perform their daily tasks, thus making their routines substantially easier. As a result, those who use technologies on a daily basis have additional time to do sport or to be with their friends and families. For example, having the opportunity to purchase technological devices, 9 out of 10 citizens of developed countries cannot imagine their lives without these possessions.
Пример 2: сравните первый параграф, в котором пример не уходит вглубь, а повторяет суть предыдущего предложения, и второй параграф, в котором нет общих фраз со статистикой и в котором с каждым предложением тема раскрывается все глубже
One of the principal advantages of a uniform policy implemented by many businesses is building their brand awareness. In other words, employees wearing work attire, which features company brand logos and images, are highly powerful advertising tools because they function as walking billboards. To exemplify, according to marketing research, approximately 70 % of major industry corporations stated that uniform programs are a more effective form of advertising compared to TV, Internet, billboard, and newspaper advertising.
Business owners see various advantages in making it company policy to wear a uniform. One of them is that having a uniform with a company’s logo may be financially beneficial as it increases customers’ loyalty. This is because a uniform with an eye-catching logo or slogan may be more recognisable and noticeable by customers than employees’ regular, everyday clothing. It creates a sense of brand awareness which builds clients’ trust, promotes company loyalty and, consequently, increases the company’s profit since those who have trust in the brand are willing to spend more.
Пример 3: довольно сильный параграф, тема в котором уже глубоко раскрыта без упоминания статистики - последнее предложение делает этот параграф более примитивным и из-за него такое письмо уже не получит band 8+
Although senior employees have proved to be reliable and loyal, more often than not, it is novices who have a wider cluster of actual skills. This is because young specialists exert their full effort in mastering their hard and soft skills in order to meet the requirements of today’s highly competitive job market. Therefore, having been promoted, such workers may bring innovation and help to better incorporate the latest technological advances into business processes, which is irreplaceable for every company to flourish. For example, the average age of a new hire at Facebook is only 23 for this very purpose.
Пример 4: неплохой пример использования цифр, но это уже не бессмысленная статистика, а цифры, которые гармонично вписываются в текст и развивают идею глубже
On the plus side, with cheaper air tickets, more individuals can afford to travel long distances faster, thus considerably saving time. With the price of flights being prohibitively high, trains or cars were more preferable means of transportation for most people due to their relatively low cost. Therefore, it required several days to cover a distance of 2000 kilometers, which nowadays is only a short flight away. However, despite this benefit, the increasing number of flights is taking a heavy toll on our planet.
Пример 5: удачный пример упоминания статистики, которая, как и в примере выше, не бессмысленна и делает сюжет параграфа более полноценным
Just because digital media platforms offer audio content in a variety of ways, it does not necessarily mean that traditional radio broadcasting will fall into oblivion. Even though Internet connectivity all over the world is improving, only a handful of countries can boast Internet coverage of their entire territory, and roughly 40% of the world’s total population still has no access to the Internet, with poor neighbourhoods and rural communities being at the biggest disadvantage. Thus, it would be a gross exaggeration to state that the development of online media poses a threat to the existence of over-the-air radio stations while there are still areas in the world where radio broadcasting is the only means of receiving audio content available or the only means affordable.
Вывод: главное в параграфе это развить мысль - это можно делать и без употребления статистики; если решаем упоминать статистику в параграфе - нужно убедиться, что она способствует развитию идеи, а не просто повторяет то, что было сказано раньше, только в цифрах.